For independent women who have rich lives on their own, it really comes down to very little
A few months ago, a girlfriend and I were discussing men when I asked her, “What do we want a man for?”
If we asked ourselves that same question when we were in our 20s or 30s, our answer would be clear — as hetero single women, we wanted a husband who would also be a good father for the children we knew we wanted. But she had just turned 70 and I had just turned 65; our children are now young adults so our answer was quite different.
Both of us live rich, full lives. We have great girlfriends…
Netflix’s ‘On the Verge’ is a start, but where are the shows about women who are not wives and mothers?
Netflix’s series On the Verge, may be a newly minted hit, but when the show’s actor, writer and director Julie Delpy was shopping around a script about four women in their 40s and 50s in 2013, few people were willing to back a show focusing on middle-aged women. That’s the age women become invisible and irrelevant, right? Who is going to watch that???
As Delpy observes:
“There’s almost a cruel thing about women that if we can’t procreate anymore, what are we? And then you become a grandmother and you exist again in your seventies. You have this dead zone.”
…
Isn’t aging just a process of becoming new versions of ourselves?
“Hey, folks who are over 40, let me ask you something … is it over at 40?”
“Is 50 too late to go back to school and get a new career because I am fed the fuck up with this one.”
“Just want someone to tell me it’s okay to start your PhD at 30.”
Recently my Twitter feed has seen more that its share of people wondering if they are “too old” to do something. Which made me think, are we ever really “too old” to do something? …
It could be a woman’s superpower to get what she wants
In a brilliant essay in The New York Times, “America Made Me a Feminist,” former supermodel Paulina Porizkova wrote about how women are treated around the world, or at least the countries she’s lived in, and in America.
Moving to France after living in Sweden, where there’s more equality, she was disturbed by how men treated her — even though opening doors and offering to pay for dinner seem innocent enough:
“They seemed to think I was too delicate, or too stupid, to take care of myself. Instead of feeling celebrated, I felt patronized. I claimed my power the way…
Does it even add anything to the conversation?
If you’re a woman, it’s most likely seared in your memory. Maybe it came from a barista or cashier a wait person or a flight attendant or a telemarketer. It’s the moment you’re called “ma’am.”
It comes unexpectedly, when you may or may not be at a transitional life stage but you certainly don’t feel like you’re a “ma’am.”
“Ma’am” means you’re old — right?
You’re shocked, angered, depressed, disgusted. “Don’t call me ma’am!” you think, huffing.
Is being called ma’am a bad thing?
Yes, says New York Times writer Natalie Angier:
“In theory, ma’am is a courtesy term, meant…
What does ‘dressing your age’ even look like?
A few years ago, a middle-aged friend was clothes shopping with her millennial daughter and they gravitated to a women’s store known for its shapeless outfits in muted earth tones— Eileen Fisher.
“Mom,” her daughter said, “you might as well wear a T-shirt that says, ‘I give up.’”
Her daughter was way too young to ever hear about Love, Loss and What I Wore, the 2008 off-Broadway play written by Nora and Delia Ephron, and its famous line — “When you start wearing Eileen Fisher you might as well say, ‘I give up’” — but she was hip enough to…
Women who go gray should not have to explain why
Actor Andie MacDowell is feeling good in her skin. During the quarantine, she decided to stop coloring her hair and, at age 63, is embracing her gray locks. In an interview in Vogue magazine after appearing with her luminous silver mane at the Cannes Film Festival in July, which apparently caused a kerfuffle, MacDowell explains why:
“I’ve never felt more powerful. I feel more honest. I feel like I’m not pretending. I feel like I’m embracing right where I am. I feel really comfortable. And in a lot of ways, I think it’s more striking on my face. …
Too many heterosexual women are missing out on orgasms
A few years ago, my friend Eve visited her mother in Florida. She was acting really odd.
“I need to confide in you,” her mother finally told her in hushed tones that could not conceal her giddiness. “I’ve been seeing a man.”
Phew, Eve thought to herself, relieved it wasn’t something health-related or that her mom had wired money to a Nigerian prince.
Then her mom said something Eve did not expect to hear.
“Evie, Evie, how’d he know what to do with his fingers? Has that ever happened to you?”
What “happened” was that Eve’s mother had experienced an…
No, it’s not that there aren’t enough potential partners
You’re 70, you’ve been widowed for a few years, you’re lonely and you’re ready to find love, or at least companionship, again.
It shouldn’t be too hard given the millions of never-married, widowed and divorced people age 60 and older, and the rise of dating apps especially for Boomers, although many are finding success on apps for ages, such as Tinder.
So what’s the problem?
Your adult kids.
Author Dina Gachman had a sweet story in the New York Times about her 70-year-old dad who was widowed in 2018 and, she discovered, was on Tinder looking for love. …
The stereotype has real-life consequences on women’s health
In her street clothes, she looked like the quintessential “little old lady,” a diminutive, seemingly frail older woman with likely not much to offer.
“Her appearance allowed people to make her into an affectionate doll. … She was made cute and sweet and accessible,” is how journalist Janice Kaplan describes her.
The “little old lady” was the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died in 2020 at age 87.
A relentless advocate for women’s rights and social issues with a whip-smart brain, The Notorious RBG was a force to be reckoned with, but she didn’t look like it…
