36 Questions That Will Make You Not Hate Your Husband After Having Kids

It just may lead to a more equitable heterosexual marriage

Mandy Len Catron’s “ To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” which highlighted a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron on how to build intimacy by asking 36 questions, has been among the most popular New York Times Modern Love columns ever.

According to the study,

“One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”

After reading so many articles and books about the unequal division of labor in the home between heterosexual couples after they have a baby, and how many couples never has essential conversations about becoming parents, it seemed like a good idea to shape 36 questions to see if your partner will be the kind of man you want to have kids with and the kind of father you want your children to have — and whether you’ll end up hating him or not. So I did.

You’ll definitely want to ask more than 36 questions if you’re planning to raise children with a romantic partner and hope to have an equitable partnership. But this is a good place to start.

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