Thanks for reading and writing Sarah.

All we can do is assume things about other people’s relationships, even if we know them as friends or family and they share stories with us. Because no one ever truly knows what goes on in another relationship.

I based this on what was said publicly, which fits into gendered patterns of hetero relationships. Amal said George thought the book-writing “process seemed interminable.” She also publicly thanked him, which was nice although I rarely hear a male writer thank his spouse for being “patient” while he does something to support his family and that matters to him. She also said, “I can promise for the sake of our marriage that I will never do this again!” Would he give up making movies if she thought the process was “interminable”? (and I understand that making movies is grueling.)

I don’t have a writing story, at least not an interesting one; I was single during the writing, thankfully, and my kids were grown, also thankfully. I didn’t have to thank someone for being patient or say I’d never do it again for the sake of my romantic relationship (and I’m writing a book now). It’s hard to be a very attentive partner or parent when you’re immersed in book writing. Not impossible, but hard. But that doesn’t mean one should give up doing what one wants to do — like write an important book. Even if your spouse is unhappy about it.

Stay safe.