Thanks for reading and responding.

I agree — I know many midlife + women who have their act together. And I have also met many midlife+ men who, while not the right partner for me for various reasons (still have youngish kids at home, etc.), have their act together and would make a good partner for someone.

I think our needs later in life are different and we may need to focus on that — if I can get a lot of mine met by my kids and friends, and have an intelligent, kind, interesting male partner who can fill in the gaps (sex, intimacy, etc.), that's all I need. But I am not looking for someone to marry or live with me.