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Stop Making Sex ‘Work’

Maintaining a happy sex life in a long-term romantic partnership isn’t easy, but it won’t be fun if you consider it ‘work’

Selfish sex and desire

Mindful sex

Like mindfulness, sex is all about paying attention, It’s all about the present moment. And it’s all about being without judgment (that is acceptance). If you don’t get too attached to your thoughts, then your mind naturally switches over to a state of simple mindful awareness.”

There’s no passion in your lovemaking/ You think, “This is never going to work”/ Your partner thinks, “Nothing I do works.”/ Now there’s even less passion. You see the problem here, right? It’s that one word: work. If you’re working during sex, you are definitely doing it wrong. Work tends to have a goal — and your sexual stuff just doesn’t understand goals.

Written by

Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

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