Melania Trump’s Perfect Marriage

The First Lady has done what few wives do — given herself space

Vicki Larson
4 min readDec 3, 2019


Courtesy Flatiron Books

No matter how you feel about Trump, many people wonder about his wife, Melania. Is she truly happy? Is she just waiting for the right moment to divorce? What did her “I REALLY DON’T CARE, DO U?” parka really mean? Does she really need to be rescued, as the #FreeMelania meme suggested? Mostly, why does she sleep apart from her husband?

Although their sleeping arrangement has been discussed before, it’s still among the “oddities” of their marriage according to a new, just-released unauthorized biography about the First Lady, “Free, Melania.”As reported in the New York Times, their presumably odd sleeping arrangement is among the top takeaways of the book:

While the president sleeps in the master bedroom on the second level of the White House residence — he requested a lock for his door — Mrs. Trump stays on the third floor, in the two-room space formerly occupied by Michelle Obama’s mother, Marian Robinson, Bennett reports.

Is it all that odd to want to sleep apart from your partner?

Sleep divorce

There’s been much ado made about sleeping in separate beds or rooms from your romantic partner, unfortunately named a “sleep divorce.” While divorce is most often seen as a painful, unhappy thing (although not necessarily always), sleeping apart from your loved one is generally not a painful, unhappy thing because it’s most likely a (hopefully mutual) choice. And since none of us truly know the true relationship between the Trumps — or any couple, for that matter — their decision to sleep separately shouldn’t be an issue.

Still, it bothers people. So does the fact that the Trumps don’t spend a lot of time together.

But Melania has no problem with that. In fact, she seems to revel in it:

My life is very normal­­ — for me. Maybe for some people they would not think that. But for me it is. I know my husband. We have



Vicki Larson

Award-winning journalist, author of “Not Too Old For That" & "LATitude: How to Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work (2024) coauthor of “The New I Do,”