Melania Trump’s Perfect Marriage

The First Lady has done what few wives do — given herself space

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Courtesy Flatiron Books

While the president sleeps in the master bedroom on the second level of the White House residence — he requested a lock for his door — Mrs. Trump stays on the third floor, in the two-room space formerly occupied by Michelle Obama’s mother, Marian Robinson, Bennett reports.

Is it all that odd to want to sleep apart from your partner?

Sleep divorce

There’s been much ado made about sleeping in separate beds or rooms from your romantic partner, unfortunately named a “sleep divorce.” While divorce is most often seen as a painful, unhappy thing (although not necessarily always), sleeping apart from your loved one is generally not a painful, unhappy thing because it’s most likely a (hopefully mutual) choice. And since none of us truly know the true relationship between the Trumps — or any couple, for that matter — their decision to sleep separately shouldn’t be an issue.

My life is very normal­­ — for me. Maybe for some people they would not think that. But for me it is. I know my husband. We have a great relationship. We are both very independent. We know what our roles are and we are happy with them. I don’t think you need to be with your husband every minute of every day. Both people should do what their passion is and then get together in the mornings and evenings and share and experience life and have a great time.

A room of her own

I am no fan of the Trumps when it comes to their policies for this country. When it comes to their marriage? I agree with Melania — “I don’t think you need to be with your husband every minute of every day.”

I knew that I was not built for conventional marriage. Even the word ‘wife’: it’s a golden cage, swallow the key. … I can assure you that some of the most powerful women in the world feel caged and tied, because of the sacrifices they have to make to be in that position.”

They certainly aren’t the first presidential couple to have separate beds or bedrooms. But even if they were, why would that bother anyone?

Private decisions

And that’s the bigger issue. Even now, when more people are living together or living apart in committed relationships, somehow we still think that once you get married, it needs to look a certain way — you live together, sleep together, do everything together.

Written by

Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

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