Marriages (actually all relationships) that are happy and healthy for all involved don’t end. But, as you note, there are no guarantees. Life throws curve balls at us all the time, now what? You can’t affair- or divorce-proof a marriage even if you’re being the best “you” that you can be because you can’t control another person‘s behavior. All you can do is show up, and every day is just another day to show up. “Today, I choose you,” is something you either feel and do … or not. That’s how marriages/relationships last — in daily increments, which is why I strongly believe we need renewable marital contracts that couples draw up based on their values and goals, no one else’s. And if it doesn’t last, it still can be a successful marriage if it reached their goals for it. So much planning goes into a wedding — a day — and not for what you want it to look like all the days after. Rather silly, isn’t it?

Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

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