Infertility, Miscarriages and Divorce

It was an unusually honest and emotional baby announcement, especially coming from Mark Zuckerberg. Recently, Facebook’s founder announced (on Facebook, natch) that he and wife of three years, Priscilla Chan, are expecting a baby girl. That was the happy part. Then came his frank confession of how hard it had been for them:

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“We’ve been trying to have a child for a couple of years and have had three miscarriages along the way. You feel so hopeful when you learn you’re going to have a child. You start imagining who they’ll become and dreaming of hopes for their future. You start making plans, and then they’re gone. It’s a lonely experience.”

All of which turned the Internet into a tizzy with confessions about everyone else’s experiences and experts weighing in how often miscarriages happen — a lot, actually. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there were more than 1 million miscarriages in 2009 and more than 23,000 stillbirths yearly in the United States — each one a heart-breaking, lonely, devastating experience. I had one before my first child was born in 1990, so I know the feeling well. And because women are delaying childbirth and miscarriages are more common as women age, this is likely going to be a reality for many more couples.

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Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

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