If everyone saw marital “failure” the same way we see mistakes, I’d be OK with agreeing that you “caused your marriage to fail.” But you didn’t. Because marital “success” means the couple makes it until death, even if they were in a loveless, sexless, contempt-filled union. You didn’t “fail” — you made a mistake. The institution of traditional “until death” marriage failed you. What do you want to do differently now?

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Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

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