I Don’t Care if Men Want to Date Younger Women (and You Shouldn’t Either)
50-year-old French writer Yann Moix says women his age are ‘invisible’ to him, and that’s OK
Yann Moix is a film director, television presenter and an award-winning writer. He’s French. He’s sorta kinda maybe attractive. He’s a 50-year-old single man. But now he may best be known by a comment he made to Maire Claire magazine. Women his age are “invisible” to him.
Come on now, let’s not exaggerate! That’s not possible … too, too old. I prefer younger women’s bodies, that’s all. Full stop. The body of a 25-year-old woman is extraordinary. The body of a woman of 50 is not extraordinary at all.”
He also prefers relationships with Asian women — Koreans, Chinese, Japanese especially — and, you know, there are all sorts of problems with that, especially when it’s explained as, “I can’t help but like what I like” or, as Moix states, “It’s perhaps sad and reductive for the women I go out with but the Asian type is sufficiently rich, large and infinite for me not to be ashamed.”
This did not go well over social media.
Tastes and inclinations
Still, as much as I find his comments naive, ageist and sexist, he’s entitled to have them. “We’re not responsible for our tastes and our inclinations. … I like who I like and I don’t have to answer to a taste tribunal,” he says.
And you know what — he’s right.
We actually are responsible for “our tastes and our inclinations,” as men who try to have sex with children or collect child porn know all too well. But, he readily admits his tastes and inclinations trip him up. “I’m a prisoner of myself. Every time I fall into the same patterns. I’m a sentimental failure who always makes the same mistakes.”
I think that was basically someone’s (not Einstein’s) definition of insanity.
Still, doesn’t Moix have a right to decide for himself what he’s attracted to? I sure want to be able to decide for myself whom I’ll share my body and time with — without judgment. I am attracted to good-looking, fit, witty, tallish, age-appropriate men and I make no apologies for that. Would anyone judge me for not being attracted to men who, say, smoke or do meth, or whom I tower over?
Inner versus outer beauty
That said, as much as I can appreciate the beautiful bodies of (some) men in their 20s and 30s, that isn’t my interest. What makes a man attractive is his inner “beauty” — values, humor, intelligence. If that happens to come in a slightly younger model, I’m all in!
Moix’s version of a datable woman is really narrow — it’s physical only — which he admits is, “So much the better for them and so much the worst for me.”
Again, he gets it right — “so much the better for them.” Indeed! Men like Moix will just be a disappointment to us middle-aged gals; better to have them out of our dating pool.
As I’ve written before, we are much more interested in younger men who are actually interested in us (don’t kid yourself that there aren’t) as well as age-appropriate men. They’re more self-aware, more interesting, more multifaceted, more experienced and more intriguing. And that’s incredibly sexy.
But just as much as Moix says women his age are invisible to him, he says they “do not see me either. They have something else to do than to get around a neurotic who writes and reads all day long. It’s not easy to be with me.”
We do have “something else to do”! Many of us at this age have had husbands or partners, raised children, managed households, put our own needs behind those of our loved ones and now, well, now it’s time for our pleasure and passions. We also are less willing to put up with a lot of BS from our romantic partners than we did when we were younger. We also look damn good.
Any man who wants to be part of that — and there’s much to be said in praise of older women — needs to be a fully engaged partner willing and able to give and take, and explore and grow.
Guys, if you can’t do that, please — skew younger and best of luck.
Originally published at omgchronicles.vickilarson.com