"I could even argue that the one initiating divorce is usually more at fault."

Hmm, my former husband presented lots of bad behavior. A year of couples therapy, individual therapy, lots of self-help book reading and trying to make it work according to what the "experts" told me and still, I eventually filed for (initiated?) the divorce. So are you saying I'm "more" at fault?

I'll take responsibility for whatever I did that contributed to the marital dysfunction but I reject the idea that wanting to leave a marriage that could not be salvaged made me "more" at fault.