I agree — there’s no “one” soulmate. There may (or may not) be people who are better suited to where we are and where they are in life at times, and then it feels natural and “right.”

“The journey for love should be fun and unrestrained.” Yes … with an asterisk. It’s important for us to know what we truly want: casual sex? great. To couple up and have kids … soon? Great. To have a good travel buddy who has the time and finances to do that? Great. Because if we don’t identify what we want, for ourselves, we might — unrestrained — spend time and energy with people who don’t want what we want, thus wasting their time and perhaps our own, and probably causing pain and breaking some hearts along the way.

So, no — it isn’t about soulmates or “the one,” but it is about self-awareness. And that may mean a certain amount of restraint. Still will be fun, though …

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Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

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