How the Principles of BDSM Can Help Women Get the Pleasure They Deserve

Know what you want, ask for it, and refuse not to get it

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It’s hardly new news that women are experiencing an orgasm gap. Well, not all women — mostly heterosexual women, according to a much-discussed 2018 study.

It found that heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually or always orgasm during sex — a whopping 95 percent — followed by gay men, 89 percent, bisexual men, 88 percent, lesbians, 86 percent, bisexual women, 66 percent, and — last of all— heterosexual women at 65 percent.

A more-recent study looking at the orgasm gap across one’s lifetime — from ages 18 to 100 years — reveals that it’s, sadly, persistent.

The researchers suggest why:

“The presence of the orgasm gap across adulthood may be attributed to sociocultural influences and norms, such as the undervaluing of women’s sexual satisfaction, biased sexual education, and the emphasis on penetrative sex. These societal attitudes likely shape individuals’ sexual behaviors and expectations, perpetuating gendered dynamics favoring men’s pleasure across the lifespan. Further, inadequate inclusive sexual education overlooks mutual pleasure and may reinforce attitudes and behaviors that uphold the orgasm gap.”