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Here’s What Challenges Newlyweds the Most After the Wedding Day

And a few simple ways to avoid most of the unexpected realities

Vicki Larson
7 min readNov 13, 2024
Mikhail Nilov/Pexels

My older son recently proposed to his girlfriend and so there will be a wedding soon. They’ve been living together for the past few years, own a home together and have two dogs together — my grandpups. Will anything change once they put a ring on it?

I don’t mean just the idea that saying “I do” feels a bit like a guarantee of something for many people (it is not) or an accomplishment (it is not). I’m interested in what happens once the wedding and honeymoon period ends and now you’re just — married.

Beyond the post-wedding blues — all that’s a whole thing — is there something that happens to couples once they settle into the day-to-day realities of married life versus their expectations of what will happen?

In truth, yes, according to a 2011 study of 21 young heterosexual couples from the Midwest. True, that’s a small study and, true, it’s 13 years old — things might have changed since then. Only eight couples had lived together before marrying and 12 were religious, attending church weekly — that may skew things, too (just read Lyz Lenz’s book This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life to understand).

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Vicki Larson
Vicki Larson

Written by Vicki Larson

Award-winning journalist, author of “Not Too Old For That" & "LATitude: How You Can Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work, coauthor of “The New I Do,”

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