Image for post
Image for post

Having a Baby Will Not Save Your Marriage

If you have doubts, just ask Janet Jackson

A few months ago, singer Janet Jackson made news by becoming a first-time mother at age 50, to a baby boy Eissa. This week, she made news again — she and her husband, Qatari businessman Wissam Al Mana, have separated.

A different approach

I’m a big fan of having a marital plan or, if you plan on having kids, a parenting prenup or, at the very least, some discussions about the what, when, where, why and how of having and raising a baby. Even if you both are on the same page about having kids, and how many, there’re a lot of other issues that are going to come up; just ask Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Jancee Dunn, author of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids.

Rethinking baby

It’s too late for a lot of people, including Janet Jackson. Some might say, well, she waited a long time to have a child, she’s had three marriages and can obviously survive on her own and can afford good nannies (she’s worth about $250 million) so, no worries. Eissa will likely be fine, too, assuming there isn’t a big, bad custody fight (those happen). But, maybe it’s not too late for you.

Written by

Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store