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Karolina Grabowska/Pexels

And please don’t leave the financial decisions to your spouse

When I was younger, I never cared about money. I mean, I knew it was important for some essentials — like eating, housing, not running around naked— but getting rich was never my focus.

Fast forward a few decades, after years of working part-time to raise my children during my 14-year marriage, throw in a divorce, which sent me back into the workforce full time, and believe me — I began to really care about money. …


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Both are proof that you can have an equal union if you have the right partner

During the early days of the presidential election, I was excited by how the female Democratic hopefuls — Amy Klobuchar, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Kirsten Gillibrand, Tulsi Gabbard and Marianne Williamson — had somewhat outside-the-box life stories beyond the traditional romantic script and could be inspirations for young women.

As I wrote at the time:

Some have spent most of their life single. Some married and had children in their mid- to late-30s, and are the breadwinners in their family. Some have no children of their own. …


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At 68, the actor, model, writer and farmer is embracing aging

Model, actor, writer, filmmaker, animal behaviorist and farmer Isabella Rossellini, is happy. In an article in The Guardian, Rossellini, 68 — the daughter of of two movie legends, actor Ingrid Bergman and director Roberto Rossellini —clearly is embracing being an older woman.

“This is the great thing about getting old: things that preoccupied you when you were young cease to preoccupy you. I would have loved to have had one Oscar. Well, too bad. I have six sheep, two dogs, two children.”

After two marriages, to director Martin Scorsese and former model Jonathan Wiedemann, a six-year relationship with David Lynch and a two-year engagement to Gary Oldman, what she doesn’t have anymore is a husband or life partner. …


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Lake Bell and Ed Helms are an unhappily married couple in Bell’s 2017 film ‘I Do … Until I Don’t.’ (Courtesy of the Film Arcade)

Unlike her pro-marriage movie ‘I Do … Until I Don’t,’ marriages that don’t last ‘until death’ can still have happy endings

Actor, director and screenwriter Lake Bell recently announced that she and her husband of seven years, Scott Campbell, are divorcing.

“After 9 years together, 7 years married, 2 sparkling children … Scott and I are ending our marriage, but continuing our loving family. With respect and thoughtful guidance, we will continue to be parental comrades in arms and best friends for all of our days.”

It isn’t unusual for couples to divorce, even if they have young children — daughter Nova is 6 and son Ozgood is 3. What is ironic in this case is that she is divorcing after seven years and just three years ago, Bell wrote, directed and starred in I Do … Until I Don’t, a pro-marriage film that explores the promise of a seven-year marital contract. …


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Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels

It’s damaging to women’s physical, emotional, financial, romantic and sexual health

You might not know it if you met me now, but I was a shy, quiet, insecure, people-pleasing teen who didn’t think she had much to say. Although I started to bust out of that in my late 20s, it wasn’t until I was much older that I fully came into my own.

Like 47.

I was newly divorced with two young kids and a new full-time job that I loved but paid me what is considered extreme poverty wages around these parts. …


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Craig Adderley/Pexels

Moms of young children — whether coupled or single — are suffering the most, so it’s time to get creative

The pandemic is putting a huge strain on everyone, but a new study indicates who’s suffering the most of the coupled among us— moms of young children, especially moms with jobs and no childcare

Thirty-nine percent have become frustrated with their partners who are “providing insufficient support with pandemic parenting” or are dismissive about their concerns about COVID-19. Those frustrations are leading to conflict, and as numerous studies have shown, conflict increases the chance of a breakup. …


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The Supreme Court nominee’s son with Down syndrome is the beloved child in her family and while research says that’s not uncommon, she’s sending a message about her views on abortion

Hearing for judge Amy Coney Barrett, President Trump’s nominee to fill Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s seat on the Supreme Court, began Monday, and among the many things she said in her remarks is that her youngest of seven children Benjamin, who has Down syndrome, is the favorite child.

“Benjamin has Down syndrome and he is the unanimous favorite of the family,” she told the Senate Judiciary Committee, basically repeating what she said at the Rose Garden ceremony in late September — “the most revealing fact about Benjamin, our youngest, is that his brothers and sisters unreservedly identity him as their favorite sibling.” Which repeated what she said in 2017 when she was approved for her seat on the federal appeals court.; …


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Is it too much to ask that they look after their own — and maybe even ours?

Maybe you saw it, the video of Jill Biden pulling her masked husband, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, away from reporters to keep him socially distanced.

I saw it on Twitter and “liked” the video clip and retweeted it because it seemed sweet and loving. And so I didn’t think too much about it until I saw a tweet from Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project, a huge promoter of marriage as the answer to everything — poverty, loneliness, health, etc.

“*This* helps visualize why married men live longer,” he tweeted.

And then I got a bit miffed.

Not just because it was promoting marriage over any other form of relationship, romantic or not. …


Many are very interested in sex, so stop telling us we’re not

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Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A few weeks ago I connected with a guy on a dating site and the conversation quickly went to unhappy places, as they sometimes do. I cut off a few years from my age — women my real age are a tough sell on dating site algorithms — but I mention my actual age a few sentences into my self-description. Since many people don’t actually read what people write, I always disclose it in the first conversation if we’re a match.

So when I mentioned my real age, in case he hadn’t seen it, here’s what he wrote back:

Since you insist on talking about age, I’ve run into one problem. It’s not exactly connected to the number, but there is some kind of relationship between age and ‘desire’ that seems to fit in an honest conversation here. For a lot of women, HRT works fine and it all works; others, it turns out, not so much. As for me, so far, so (very) good, I’ve been told. …


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Marriages that last forever sometimes are just successful commitments and not happy, healthy, loving partnerships

Cardi B recently announced her divorce from Offset, her husband of almost three years and with whom she has a toddler, Kulture Kiari Cephus.

After his affairs, being together wasn’t easy, she admitted, but their split is about more than that, she says.

I just got tired of f — ing arguing. I got tired of not seeing things eye to eye. When you feel like it’s just not the same anymore, before you actually get cheated on, I’d rather just leave.”

What you don’t hear her talk about is feeling like a failure, that her short-lived marriage is a failure. …

About

Vicki Larson

Award-winning journalist, coauthor of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels,” mom, changing the narrative about older women

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